It is said that we are human BEings not human DOings
- what if DOing is your BEing?
Do you find yourself feeling uncomfortable when you are not doing anything? Are you one of those people who feel great when you have completed tasks or goals but feel uneasy just BEing?
Do you know how you BE?
What if you BE by DOing?
What if BEing for you meant DOing, and that was ok?
For most of my life, I have been a "busy" person. You know what I mean, always on the move, things to do, people to see. In the past I would have lists of things to do every day. I set goals and achieved a lot. I was happy being busy.
When I was not doing anything, I didn't feel good, I felt guilty and lazy- where did that come from? I did not take any time for self-care (I didn't even know what that meant). I was at the bottom of my list of priorities.
I didn't know it then, but that had nothing to do with the fact that I was busy and everything to do with the way I felt, especially how I felt about ME.
Have you ever had time for yourself and not known what to do with it? Or felt uneasy and guilty when you were not doing something?
That was me, and I was ok with it, or so I thought.
I grew up in an environment where there was a massive expansion in the digital world. Everything was rapidly changing, and people from all corners of the globe were beginning to communicate in real -time.
It was an exciting time, with so much information and so many new ways of being and doing.
However, as we became more and more connected to the rest of the world, we became more and more disconnected from our SELF.
There is always something to do.
A new book to read, a video to watch, a podcast to listen to, as well as living our life. We get bombarded from all directions with good advice and people telling us what it takes to be successful, how to be happy, how to BE.
I don´t know about you, but there have been many times when I felt like a failure, even when I was happy with my life because everywhere I turned, I had someone telling me how I could be better and what, in their opinion, I was doing wrong.
Most of these were positive messages from people who were passionate about the things they had done. Things they discovered that led them to success or improved their health and well-being.
New processes to try, new healing modalities that were guaranteed to work.
I was passionate about all this information and also about telling people what worked for me too. I wanted everyone to benefit the way I did.
I have to be honest and tell you, often I was angry and resentful at other people when I was so busy, and they were not listening to me.
There were times when I blamed everyone else. My family, my work colleagues, and my friends. Then there was the government and people in general. I blamed them all because I never had time for myself, and then I got upset when they did not notice or seem to appreciate me, especially when I tried so hard to make everything better for everyone around me - sound familiar?
It was not until recent years that I became aware that I was angry with myself, no one else.
It took some major life events to shift my perception. I am not going to go into them all; however, what I will say is that I was a stubborn Scot and needed to be stopped in my tracks more than once before I sat up and took notice.
During and after every challenging situation, I kept telling myself that I was learning a lesson and my life was improving. I didn't really believe it at the time, but it was true. I see that now.
Then, in the space of about 10 years, one life-changing event after another occurred, and my whole world was different. It was as if overnight, the foundations I had built my life on cracked and crumbled.
For a while, I felt numb. Then, without knowing that it was happening, I connected to how I felt, right here, right now, and WOW - the magic happened.
It was not something that happened suddenly, although there was a "lightbulb moment" when it all came together.
I didn't want the lightbulb moment to happen, though, and I resisted it for what seems like forever. It was so much easier to blame everyone and everything around me for the mess that was my life than it was to take responsibility for it myself.
Why on earth was I going to make myself feel worse by blaming myself?
That's what I thought - and then - I let go.
It seems too simplistic to say it, but that is exactly what happened; I let go.
I didn't care at that point what happened; I was happy(?) to just let everything go on around me.
Slowly I began to see that I was still functioning; then that I was still laughing; then that I was feeling happy again; who would have thought!
I was learning how I BE, and I liked it.
What has become clear to me is that “one-size” does not fit all, no matter how hard we may try to make it so (just ask Cinderella's´ sisters) ...BUT
“One shoe can change your life.”
The thing is that I am still busy, I am just busy in a different way.
Now I know that when I feel good being busy and passionate about what I'm doing, I am BEing.
It's how I feel when I am DOing, or how I feel when I am not DOing, that stops me from BEing.
There are times when I feel good meditating, and other times when I don't feel good meditating - now, I stop, and I go back to when it feels right.
There are times when I have a heavy schedule, and it feels good, and other times when I get overwhelmed - now I recognise the feeling, and I make a decision about what I need to do to change it.
My perspective on my busy life is now very different from before.
The most important lesson I learned is
- the only thing that ever matters is -
How You Feel!
You see, everyone will have advice on what you can do to improve your life (me included), your relationships, your health, and your wealth. There are so many courses, books, coaching programs, and experts for us to learn from but what almost every single one of them does not tell us is - if we do not connect to how we feel and follow our passion, we will be continually re-routing on our journey.
It's how we learn what we want and what we don't want, and that's what we are here for, to find what makes us feel good and run with it.
So read every book you can get your hands on, watch every video that pops up, and listen to every podcast you can find. Live your life to the full, just make sure that you pay attention to how you feel when you are doing all of it, and that way you will know if it is right for you, in this moment. If it doesn't feel good, and you want to - stop, you can always go back to it later, if it feels right, of course!
I have absolutely no regrets about any part of my life, even the darkest moments, and that is what the journey has taught me. I have learned that all these years I was on my way, I still am, and the joy is in the journey.
All we have is NOW.
The past WAS now then.
The future WILL BE now when it arrives.
NOW is all we have.
When I work with people, I hold space for them to BE.
No judgments and no expectations.
Some people get back on their path, and others find they still have some re-routing to do.
That's ok. Whatever works for you is ok.
You Got This.
If you are ready to take 100% responsibility for how you feel and want someone to have your back, I'm here.
Are you NO where?
or are you
Qualified General Nurse
Certified Practioner Level IV
Emotion Code Certified
Certified Life Coach